Tales from Mamahood

Graeme and his Auntie Dawn

This past week we experienced our first big fever and cold situation with Graeme, the timing was a bummer as Shawn's sister came into town to visit at the onset of it all. The good news is that she's a pediatric nurse and it was such a comfort to have her here. Not only did she act as nurse/auntie, but she just whizzed around our house helping out with everything and anything possible. I think I may have underestimated the value of help and support.

Lucky for me, my husband is a super star at showing up for us – but in the meantime I may have been holding onto the idea that we have to be strong or have it "going on" (what does that even mean) in the parenthood department. It sure SEEMED to me like everyone else does! I sometimes get it in my head that all the other mamas know the "rules" about everything and I am the only one totally winging it. I tell myself, you should have read more baby books while you were pregnant! The only book I read in it's entirety was Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions. I paged through What to Expect When You Are Expecting, but days before giving birth, I was (re)reading May Sarton's Journal of a Solitude. I think I may have broken a rule or two there, May is absolutely worth it and so am I.

Graeme had his first swimming lesson a few weeks ago. I felt concerned about getting him bathed right away afterwards because of the chlorine, that there must be a "process" that I didn't know about. I texted a friend who has a 1 year old and she was so casual about it (I was SO relieved!). She said something like, "We usually just give her a bath at the end of the day and that's fine with us. We are all winging it, just like you."

I have many mama heroes that I am SO grateful for - their wisdom, courage in being vulnerable and sense of humor have helped me so much in my journey as a new mama. One of those women is the amazing Andrea Scher over at Superhero Life. She keeps it real, she empowers others to follow the fun, and she recently wrote this beautiful article for Postpartum Progress on Needing More Help Than You Think Deserve. Really, really good.

First Fig and Creative Commitments

 

So I have this habit of striking up conversations in the grocery store. Usually its in the produce department, I usually goes something like this: "What do you make with that kind of cabbage?" 

I am participating in Kari Maxwell's May Creative Commitment Challenge  and when I signed on I was thinking I would collage or paint a little something everyday. I was wandering around Whole Foods today when I was reminded of figs. I have been thinking about figs lately and how they seem intimidating – it seems so silly to type that. I had nearly finished my shopping and was over by the wine and beer when an employee asked me if I was finding everything ok. I must have come across as SO random to him when I asked if he had ever eaten a fig before. He happily walked me over to the snack section and confessed that he had only eaten Fig Newtons, very cute. There was another employee stocking shelves right where the bags of figs were. He hadn't tried them before EITHER so he just opened a bag and all three of tried them! Having a huge sweet tooth, I certainly appreciated the sweetness but I wasn't a fan of the texture of the seeds. And then more people came over and shared their their fig knowledge. One woman said that she had a fig tree in her yard and that her dog could hardly wait to eat them. Super fun and unexpected gathering.

I wasn't able to take a good photo in the store because my phone battery died, so I carried the partially eaten fig with me to the register. The cashier was curious about the fig and so I told him that it was my first time eating a fig and he excitedly told me that I just had to try the Black Mission figs in the bulk department.

Even though I didn't care for the fig, I delighted in the experience and conversation that was created around it. I didn't create anything physical today, but the experience at Whole Foods is a creation of sorts I believe and it made me SO happy.

Thoughts on Creative Idleness as a New Mama

 

I remember (re)reading May Sarton's Journal of a Solitude towards the end of my pregnancy.  I am a huge fan of solitude,  and how it fills my creative wells. As excited as I was to be welcoming my son into the world I felt worried that I would never have a moment to myself again! I believe I was reading it so close towards the end of my pregnancy to affirm what I knew about myself, but also to prepare myself how to navigate through that as a new mother. Graeme actually arrived three weeks early so I never finished the book, but I took that as a sign that I was fully equipped and ready to roll. 

Now that sweet baby G is nearing 7 months I have been consciously trying to allow space to fill my creative wells and I have enjoyed (mostly) redefining what that looks like in my new world. Recently I have been reading Brenda Ueland's If You Want to Write (highly recommend for any type of creating) - what I love about her writing is how she reminds us to show up everyday to our art even if you just sit there and twirl your hair. She says:

I learned from them that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic striving, but it comes to us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.

 I thought for sure my time for solitude would be when Graeme naps - I had always thought as rule babies nap for HOURS!, but he only naps in 20 minute increments. That's when I get the dishes done or the laundry folded. Or sometimes I just sit on the couch in silence. Although I am not alone, I find that somehow on long walks with Graeme and our pup give me a sense of solitude. Or when I am rocking him to sleep I just keep rocking him as he sleeps - I am loving that kind of idleness.

Then there is always the evening. Ideally, I try to get some reading in but some nights I just need to zone out in front of the TV. Just last night I went into our bedroom to read only to fall asleep by 8:30!