Thoughts on Creative Idleness as a New Mama

 

I remember (re)reading May Sarton's Journal of a Solitude towards the end of my pregnancy.  I am a huge fan of solitude,  and how it fills my creative wells. As excited as I was to be welcoming my son into the world I felt worried that I would never have a moment to myself again! I believe I was reading it so close towards the end of my pregnancy to affirm what I knew about myself, but also to prepare myself how to navigate through that as a new mother. Graeme actually arrived three weeks early so I never finished the book, but I took that as a sign that I was fully equipped and ready to roll. 

Now that sweet baby G is nearing 7 months I have been consciously trying to allow space to fill my creative wells and I have enjoyed (mostly) redefining what that looks like in my new world. Recently I have been reading Brenda Ueland's If You Want to Write (highly recommend for any type of creating) - what I love about her writing is how she reminds us to show up everyday to our art even if you just sit there and twirl your hair. She says:

I learned from them that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic striving, but it comes to us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.

 I thought for sure my time for solitude would be when Graeme naps - I had always thought as rule babies nap for HOURS!, but he only naps in 20 minute increments. That's when I get the dishes done or the laundry folded. Or sometimes I just sit on the couch in silence. Although I am not alone, I find that somehow on long walks with Graeme and our pup give me a sense of solitude. Or when I am rocking him to sleep I just keep rocking him as he sleeps - I am loving that kind of idleness.

Then there is always the evening. Ideally, I try to get some reading in but some nights I just need to zone out in front of the TV. Just last night I went into our bedroom to read only to fall asleep by 8:30!